Many of the anxious people I treat struggle with having a clear sense of their identity. Their anxiety disorders make them second guess themselves, their thoughts and question their worthiness. They become extremely apprehensive about making people angry, losing friends, or being fired if they dare to say no or stand up for themselves. Because of these fears they often have very poor boundaries. If you are an anxious person you owe yourself some boundaries.  Boundaries not only help define or redefine your identity, they also reduce tension and restore feelings of self-worth. Boundaries are just personal rules that protect … Read more…

Why do we procrastinate? If you procrastinate, you will be happy to know that it is probably not because of lack of self-control or laziness. Your procrastination is likely to be all about anxiety, not some character flaw or moral failing. Anxiety and procrastination are closely linked. When you feel anxious about something of course you feel the impulse to put it off.   Perfectionism, catastrophizing, resentment, low self-esteem, and imposter syndrome can all trigger anxiety and impede your ability to get things done. The scenario that I hear the most from my clients is that they know that they have something to complete … Read more…

Understanding Phobias So many of us find ourselves with phobias. Are you afraid of closed-in spaces, spiders, or flying in an airplane? For most people, a negative experience starts the phobia. Pandemic anyone? In countries that seem to have beaten COVID, researchers have found that a significant number of people have developed agoraphobia and are afraid to leave their houses, even though it is now safe for vaccinated people to go out. This is not too surprising. After all, the message that it was not safe to leave the house was pounded into our brains by the news, public service … Read more…

Understanding your body’s stress response  Did you know that a natural hormone produced by your body to keep you safe can actually end up being bad for your health?    It’s the stress hormone cortisol.  It’s part of your natural “flight or fight” response that has kept humans alive for thousands of years.  It is for emergencies only however, such as escaping an angry bull elephant or a hostile attacker. The body’s stress response was meant to be triggered by life or death situations.  In the modern world, it is often triggered by daily stressful social, economic, and work situations. … Read more…